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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29854674">180 days in the diary of a puppeteer</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficta_scriptor/pseuds/ficta_scriptor'>ficta_scriptor</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dsmp oneshots [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, Depression, Diary/Journal, Dream SMP Ensemble Angst, Emotional Hurt, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Imprisonment, Insanity, Isolation, Long-Haired Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Manipulative Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Sam | Awesamdude, Mentioned Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Toby Smith | Tubbo, Mentioned TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Pain, Pandora's Vault Prison, Post-Exile Arc on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Slow Build, Touch-Starved Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:00:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,913</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29854674</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficta_scriptor/pseuds/ficta_scriptor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dream is imprisoned.<br/>He keeps a diary of all 180 days.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay dream tommyinnit, Clay | Dream &amp; Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Dream SMP Ensemble &amp; TommyInnit, No Romantic Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dsmp oneshots [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2206182</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>247</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>180 days in the diary of a puppeteer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay so the basic exposition for this is sam imprisoned dream but didn't tell anyone/ didnt allow visitors or check on him in order to protect Tommy.</p><p>I would write this out in the story but I dont want to.</p><p>Anyways enjoy maybe</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Day 1. </p><p>I've got..... a lot of books. Sam's gonna get a fist to the face when he brings food. </p><p>Day 2:<br/>
Still no food. I'm bored. If he starves me to death i'll be upset.</p><p>Day 3: </p><p>Still no food. This bed is rock hard. To be honest, I dont know why sams being so vindictive. I never did anything specifically to him. And I dont think he cares about anyone so he'll probably let me out soon. I'm sure of it. This is all a show to convince people he's good. Sneaky bastard. I almost admire him. Reminds me of me. Haha.</p><p>Day 4: </p><p>I just remembered something. I messed up. </p><p>Day 5:<br/>
Still no food. I remembered something. I think that sam cared about someone. Tommy. Sam cared about Tommy. I think so at least. That's the only explanation. Why did he care about Tommy? Surely he'll see that I was helping. Tommy was an issue and I had a solution. Sams smart. He'll come to his senses. </p><p>Day 6:<br/>
im so hungry. Still have to kill Tubbo when I get out. No particular reason why at this point. But tommt needs to learn.</p><p>Day 7:<br/>
I got food today. Its an automatic system. I didnt even get to yell at him. I wonder if he can watch me. I wonder if he would invite Tommy to watch me or something. That would be semi-ironic. </p><p>Day 8:<br/>
Turns out I just missed the box full of taters. No clue how, this cell is bare as heck. A bed, a toilet, a sink and this box. Oh and a chest full of way to much books and paper. No way anyone'd ever need this much writing stuff. It would take decades to use up. Wait, there's a clock in here too. </p><p>Day 9: my communicater doesn't work in here. I was giving them the silent treatment but got bored today and tried to use it. Signals effed. Dang. Now I won't know if anyone bites the dust. I hope its Sam. Or Tubbo. That would be hilarious. </p><p>Day 10:<br/>
Invented a game. I call it making little fires out of the paper and lava. I didn't do to much because I might need this paper for my amazing escape plan im working on. Whatever. </p><p>11:<br/>
JUST REALIZED I CAN COOK THE POTATOES HOLY HELL GAME CHANGER </p><p>Update: I burned my finger. Lava hurts. </p><p>12:<br/>
Bored. </p><p>13:<br/>
Got a paper cut today. No bandaids in here. </p><p>14: wish this bed had sheets. Then again it is really really hot in here. Sam really should have put in ac.<br/>
I mean I did commission this building.<br/>
At least splurge for ac man. </p><p>15: kinda lonely. </p><p>16: really glad Sam doesn't allow visitors. Hair's a mess. </p><p>17: Burned my finger again. Felt weird to only have it on one side so I burned the other. Now it hurts to write. Mistakes were made. </p><p>18: sung a song today. I dont remember which one. </p><p>19: man this place has bad acoustics. </p><p>20: thought I heard someone calling me. </p><p>21: bored. </p><p>22: hand hurts. I dont know how but it got burned again. Must've rolled off the bed and then just kept going over to the lava. I am very agile. Even while asleep. Tommy better watch out.<br/>
Ehe. That kind of souns like something he would say. </p><p>23: decided i should try draw. By the time I get out a here I'll be so good at drawing they'll forgive me instantly for a portrait. </p><p>24: tried to draw Tommy.. somethings wrong with his face. </p><p>25: gave up on the face. Nothing now it'ss just a cross. </p><p>26: what the hell does Tommy look like?<br/>
I can't draw, can I?</p><p>27: gave up on Tommy. Maybe I'll throw him into the lava.<br/>
...<br/>
Nah I'll tear it up in front of him. </p><p>28: C C C C C C C C C C C C C D D D D D D D D D<br/>
Practicing writing. </p><p>29: heard someone again. </p><p>30: Tommy came to visit today..? It was kinda weird. He let me see his disks and I chucked them into the lava. Did he really think i would believe he would show me the actual discs? Then he just kinda.. dissapeared, so I'm sure he's fine. He didn't even try follow them.  </p><p>31: I hear Tommy again. I shouldn't have done what I did. </p><p>32: I re read the journal. Why didn't I write about george coming to visit? It was such a nice day! </p><p>I mentioned someone named Tubbo.. no idea how I misspelled Tommy so bad. </p><p>33: I forgot who tubbo is. How. How. How. How. I dont know. I dont know. I can't forget... if all that matters here is what I remember then the only thing I have left to lose is my memory. Why do I feel like there's a joke here? Memory.. boy? I need to write down everything. </p><p>Tommy- little shit. Hates you. You hate him.<br/>
Stupidly easy to manipulate.</p><p>Tubbo- coward. Hate him. You hate most people, actually.<br/>
They don't understand </p><p>Ghostbur: I assume he's a ghost? I dont think i knew him well. Had a beanie. </p><p>Technoblade: a fighter. </p><p>George: </p><p>Sapnap: </p><p>Bbh(?)- dont remember what the acronym stand for..<br/>
Likes eggs. </p><p>Fundy- fox. </p><p>Sam: put you in here. Tommy's dad. </p><p>Philza minecraft- made minecraft. Pretty sure he's a god or smthn.</p><p> </p><p>That's it.. that's all I remember. There's blurry faces. I dont remember. I dont remember. I think I used to.. care about someone? Someones? I just remember hating them all. What did I say to them? Why don't I remember? When did I stop remembering? </p><p>34: help. </p><p>35: dont know why I wrote that. Fell asleep right after anyways. I sleep most of the time now. </p><p>36: tried to sing. I couldn't remember any songs. Doesn't matter. It was too loud in here anyways. </p><p>37: someone's screaming. Someone's screaming. Its so loud. It hurts. It scratches my throat. Its so stifling in here. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP </p><p>38:<br/>
It's midnight right now. I dont remember what a mid is. I remember night. It was dark. It's dark in here. I mean, there's light. But it feels dark. </p><p>39: I brought my books over to my bed. Now I don't have to sit up. It was starting to hurt to walk anyways. </p><p>40: Almost forgot about the potatoes today. Decided to save them for tomorrow. I'm not hungry. </p><p>41: Shared some potatoes with Ranboo. Kept dodging them, bunch ended un in the lava. It's okay. I'm not hungry anyways. </p><p>42: Ate today. I haven't eaten in so long.. it was getting to me.. I just.. forgot. I cant believe I forgot who bad was. I'll eat every day. I promise.<br/>
Oh my god I sound crazy. One day I'm fine and the next Tommy is "visiting?"??? Pardon??? </p><p>43: Might stop doing logs. No ones reading it and im back to being sane so.... </p><p>44: started getting into a regular sleep schedule again. Cant believe i started hallucinating. Not screwing things up that badly again. Anyone who's reading this, it was an accident. I accidentally forgot to eat and sleep and hallucinated a bunch. I'm okay now. </p><p>45: Yeah I'm going to stop doing these. Boring. Maybe I'll write poems. </p><p>Sam<br/>
Green bitch<br/>
Bitch bitch bitch<br/>
Bitch boy<br/>
Fuck you. </p><p>That sound like something Tommy would write lol. I'll add it to his drawing.</p><p> </p><p>59:<br/>
Sam<br/>
Green bitch<br/>
Why the fuck you put me here<br/>
Let me the fuck out<br/>
Bitch </p><p>I like impersonating Tommy. It's just so easy.</p><p> </p><p>60:<br/>
I'm sorry. Please let me out.</p><p> </p><p>65: I was kidding. See, im still a great liar. </p><p>66: :)</p><p>70: I'm not going to apologize for lying.<br/>
Lies are only bad when you get caught. The truth can be bad whenever disagreed with.</p><p>75: what am I expected to do here?</p><p>80: how do they expect me to "better myself or whatever."</p><p>81: maybe that's the point.<br/>
I just don't understand.<br/>
Why keep a trophy you can't show off?</p><p>90:<br/>
You're right. I did this to myself. I'm sorry. Please let me out.<br/>
Can I get out now?<br/>
Its so fricking hot in here.</p><p>98: my throat hurts. If I died how long would it take them to find out?<br/>
Would Sam tell them?<br/>
Is he always watching? Is he never watching? Not sure which is worse.</p><p>100:<br/>
100 days. Woo.<br/>
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. Please please please please please let me out somebody PLease. </p><p>120:<br/>
I forgot what outside is. I've been eating. I promise. It was only for a second but.<br/>
God. I dont know..I've been eating. I've been sleeping. I drew a picture of the sky so I dont forget again. I'm going to do logs again. Just in case.<br/>
Also, it's really hard to draw the sky when you have no colors and the equal amount of artistic ability.</p><p>121:<br/>
I lost the Tommy drawing. Woke up and it was gone. Tried to draw him again. Did he have brown or blond hair? </p><p>Why didn't I write down who he was? All I've got is that I hate him but.. I dont? I dont know what to think. </p><p>Tommy<br/>
Tommy<br/>
Tommy<br/>
Why don't I have any colored pencils in here?<br/>
He doesn't look right without color.</p><p> </p><p>122: "Tommy" came to visit. I told him to go away. I know it's not him. I know i know I know I know.</p><p> </p><p>123: Maybe it was him. Who is he even? Red bandana. He has a red bandana. He likes music. He likes music.<br/>
He likes you.<br/>
Wait red or green.<br/>
Red or green.<br/>
What does green look like</p><p>124: I have so many pictures of everyone. It hurts to look at them. I've shoved them under the bed. How much longer will Sam leave me in here? I'm so fucking bored. </p><p>125: I'm okay. My head is clear today. I've been eating and sleeping I promise. </p><p>Tommy- red (?) bandana. Your friend. You hurt him. </p><p>Tubbo- Tommy's best friend. Kind. You hurt him. You hurt most people, actually. </p><p>Ghostbur: kind and sweet, ghost of someone. Wears a beanie. Plays guitar. </p><p>Sam: put you in here. You deserved it. Not Tommy's dad. May as well've been. </p><p>Technoblade: he helped you blow shit up. </p><p>Philza: Tommy's dad? Techno's friend. Ghostburs dad for sure. </p><p>Fundy: fox. You were friends (?) </p><p>Nikki: ? </p><p>George:Y̶o̶u̶ ̶c̶a̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ </p><p>Sapnap:Y </p><p>Thats enough writing for today. I burned my hand badly. It hurts. </p><p>126: burned my other hand because touch symmetry. It hurts. </p><p>127: not hungry today. </p><p>128: fell. It hurt. Did it again. I like the dizziness that follows.<br/>
If my head's gonna be foggy regardless it may as well be of my own accord.</p><p>129: still not hungry. </p><p>130: drew someone today. I don't know who. They don't have a face. </p><p>131: tried to draw myself. What color are my eyes? </p><p>132: its been 4 ½ months since I saw someone. I'm not meant to be alone. I like people. I like jokes. Why am I here? Haha, nah, I remember. Thats the one thing I'm not gonna write down. I want to forge-<br/>
I was in the right. That's all I need to remember. </p><p>133:<br/>
Tommy- he says pogchamp<br/>
Tubbo- he likes bees<br/>
Sam- guard<br/>
Techno-  Farmed potatoes for 24 hours straight<br/>
Philza- Dadza minecraft<br/>
Fundy- fox :)<br/>
Nikki: sinnamon roll.<br/>
Bad boy halo: egg<br/>
Ranboo: (:</p><p>134: I would beg to be let out but no one's watching. I know because they would've come in when I stuck my foot in the lava. </p><p>135: I fucking hate potatoes. Might stop eating out of protest. </p><p>136: someone please let me out. I'll be good. I promise I'll be better. </p><p>Why would they beleive you. You were always just a fucking liar. </p><p>137: found the drawings under my bed. I dont recognize the people but they're labled so I remember who they are. I remember I promise. </p><p>138: tired. Not hungry today. </p><p>139: I lied on 137. Who the fuck is fundy. I mean I see what I've written down but "fox" is kinda self explanatory.<br/>
Why do I feel sad all the time?<br/>
Is this even sadness anymore?<br/>
I just want to feel something.<br/>
Someone.</p><p>I don't remember these people. I'm trying. I promise I'm trying. </p><p>140: I put the pictures back under the bed. It hurts. All I do now is try remember. It's so hard. I'm trying. </p><p>141: fell over when I stood up today. I'll just sleep on the floor I think. I got a memory. Of something blue. Big and blue. And.. moving air. Air that moves and isn't hot. It might be that picture I found. "Sky". My journal says I used to know what that was. Meh. Doesn't seem that important. </p><p>142: not hungry today. </p><p>143:.. people have been visiting again. I didnt want to write it down. Hoped they'd go away. They don't have faces, either. </p><p>144: someone's screaming again. They've been doing it all week. I hate em. </p><p>145: I dont want to be hungry. </p><p>146: tired </p><p>147: tired </p><p>148: tired. </p><p>149: played tic tac toe with someone. I dont know who. They wouldn't tell me. They won. </p><p>150: five months. Months are 30 days. Dont want to forget that. I've forgotten so much. Or maybe I haven't. Thats the worst thing about forgetting. I have no idea how much I've forgotten. Or how much I've got left. </p><p>151: please someone let me out. </p><p>152: im going to drag my bed over to the potatoes so I can eat them in bed. I dont feel like cooking them. I can burn my hands just fine without them. </p><p>153: not hungry. </p><p>154: dragged book box over to the bed. Now I dont have to get up. Genius moment. </p><p>155: there's no colors in here. I dont remember some of the colors. I used to have a sweater. It was green. I remember green, probably. I mentioned blue on the journal a while ago. Can't picture it though. My mask was a color too. I dont remember which one. The lava is orange. I remember orange. Orange is the color of my suit. I never really cared about my suit. Theres something written on it. I dont feel like taking it off to read. The shirt underneath has no color. Like.. cold sand? I can't remember the word right now.<br/>
I should remember this </p><p>156: the shirt says "Dream". Who's that? Is it a suggestion? I cant find them anywhere in the journal.<br/>
I dont like dreaming. They never end well. </p><p>157: I remembered a face today. It was simple. I've drawn it so many times. ":)". I drew them as quick as possible. They seem so familiar. </p><p>158: their name was Dream...? Why do I have their name on my suit? Labled the drawings in case they want it when-<br/>
If<br/>
I<br/>
Get<br/>
Out. </p><p>160: I got up today. </p><p>161: I drew a picture today. Its a.. not here thing. Forget the word. Its a circle with ovals sticking out. Idk. Felt like drawing it. </p><p>162: threw the thing into the lava. </p><p>163: I wish I could remember a song. I love music. Loved? No that can't be right, the journal says Tommy likes music. But ghostbur plays guitar? I dont understand. </p><p>164: </p><p>165: I haven't re read the journal in a while. I dont like reading the first bits. I dont remember writing them.. it feels weird. </p><p>166: my hair is messy. I was fiddling with it and something came undone. Now I have a tiny rubber(?) Ring and my hair is going everywhere. </p><p>167: I pulled out some of the drawings I remembered. They had a rubber ring too. They used it to keep their hair back. Why is their hair.. woven? I dont know how to do that. I tried to make my hair stay up. It worked. Some part of me must remember. </p><p>168: I was writing and a paper hurt me. Now there's red on my finger? I haven't seen red in a while. I like it. I almost forgot red. I put some of the red on a drawinga nd labled it so I wont forget. </p><p>169: the red looks different today.. maybe not. I might have forgotten. </p><p>170: I'm so tired today. </p><p>171: I dont feel like eating today. </p><p>172: nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. </p><p>173: help. Lava hurt my shoe. Only one shoe left. </p><p>174: I'm glad I put the books by my bed. Books by bed. Bed by sink. Sink by potatoes. Potatoes by clock. </p><p>175: clock rhymes with cock. Not sure what that means but I found it in a drawing labled "Tommy". He was standing in front of a sign that said "join the cock". There was an oval on the sign. I dont know why I'm writing this down. </p><p>176: im tired. </p><p>178: why </p><p>177: why do I get up? I just burn myself more whenever I do.<br/>
It's not my fault.<br/>
I just want to be warm.<br/>
It's so cold in here.</p><p>178: no more getting up. </p><p>179: drew a pencil. The pencil is grey. I feel like pencils are supposed to be colored. </p><p>180: six months. I dont think I'll write anymore. Too tired. </p><p>181: im sorry. I'm sorry. Goodbye. </p><p>Goodbye George. Goodbye Sapnap </p><p>Bye Sam.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>More oneshots on my profile :)<br/>Please leave a kudo if you like and feel free to comment!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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